December 17, 2025 Meeting Minutes - Supporting Self-Motivation, Considering Emotional Age

PALS Meeting Minutes

December 17, 2025 9:30 a.m.

Virtual Meeting using Zoom

Open Forum

Open Forum allows participants to share experiences, ask questions, and provide resources in a mutually supportive setting.

How to Support Self-Motivation in Kids

What's the best way to get kids motivated? From the time they're babies, children have a natural curiosity to explore and learn about the world. How adults engage with them can either boost or block this curiosity. Research in psychology has highlighted a few great strategies that parents and teachers can use to encourage positive motivation and learning as children grow.

• Enhance self-confidence

• Foster your child's curiosity and promote exploration

• Cultivate your child's interests and follow your child's lead

• Empower your child with autonomy by granting children agency

• Collaborate with children to set goals and utilize positive reinforcement

• Commend the process, not just the outcome, and emphasize that failure is not a setback

Don't get bogged down in all of these all at once. It's key to make sure children feel listened to and respected, and that they get a say in what goes on in their lives. If children always feel like they're being bossed around and that adults are calling all the shots, they're probably not going to be all that motivated to join in on certain activities.

Adults in a child's life should take a step back, assess the situation and the child, and hold back from instructing the child on what to do all the time. When adults actually listen to and value what kids have to say, it helps spark their inner motivation. If we think it's important to hear kids out, we should also give them opportunities to work on their problem-solving and decision-making skills. Even offering small choices can really boost self-motivation. Think about it; your child is surrounded by adults constantly telling them what to do, from home, to school, to extracurricular activities, and back home. All of which provide ample opportunities for adults to explore a child's interests, follow their lead, give the child choices, support their own goal setting, and praise the process.

Resources

How to Motivate Children: Science-Based Approaches for Parents, Caregivers, and Teachers

How To Motivate Your Child: Teaching Self-Motivation

How to Promote Self-Determination for Children with Disabilities

Instinctual Optimism and Intrinsic Motivation: Every LD Student’s Keys to Success

Taking Kid's Emotional Age Into Consideration

Helping your child with motivation and confidence in school

Promoting Self-Determination Among Students with Disabilities

Considering Emotional Age

Children often experience age related categorizations. For instance, some milestones tell us when we should expect a child to be doing certain things like, crawling, walking, and talking, they enter school at a particular age and progress through the grades, a child's reading level is expressed by grade level, etc. This categorization goes as far as stating things like girls are often more mature than boys. Often a child's emotional age is not taken into consideration.

Figuring out a child's emotional age helps parents, teachers, and therapists know what tasks, consequences, and behaviors are suitable.

If a child is the emotional age of 2 then the parent would do chores and tasks with the child. Make the bed with the child. Clear the table with the child. There would not be the expectation that a 2 year old would put toys away by himself. Two year olds work best when they work next to an attuned adult who is lavish with vocalizations and praise. That is how parents teach their children language. “Oh, look! Here is your train. Where do you think it goes?” Attuned parents babble on and on to their children. They ask very few questions. They explain and explain again, never tiring of teaching their child new vocabulary and new skills. The same process can be applied to traumatized children with great success. Key is parenting their emotional age, not their chronological age. – Emotional and Chronological Ages

Working with children where they're at is the key to success. There is never a one-size fits all when it comes to supporting and educating children. Parents and teachers must consider the individual.

Resources

Strategies Parents Can Use from Toddlerhood through Adolescence

Developmental Stages of Social Emotional Development in Children

“When Your Child’s Chronological and Developmental Ages Are Out of Sync”

The Trauma Informed Teacher: Biological Age vs. Emotional Age

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Next Meeting: January 28, 2025 9:30 a.m. Virtual Meeting using Zoom.

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